Dear Mr. Newton,

We, like many others throughout the state, are overjoyed with the newfound success of the football team. This success has also drawn national interest and acclaim to our once mocked football program, as illustrated in the recent nationally televised game between the Wildcats and the Univesity of Florida. Arguably, this was one of the most important and anticipated games in recent UK football history. In a show of school spirit and in tribute to our quarterback Tim Couch, we were moved to construct a blue cardboard couch costume which could be worn by three crazy Kentucky fans. This makeshift creation bearing the words "da Couch" and "UK" in white spray paint was no larger than three, six foot, two hundred pound fans enjoying a UK football game.

As da couch began its infamous trek down Rose Street, honks of happy onlookers and screams of rabid fans filled the air as die hard fans applauded in sheer appreciation and approval of such an ingenious display of school spirit. As the couch paraded through the throngs of druken tailgaters, it was immediately embraced for its creative magnificence, and swarms of true blue fans proclaimed it to be the saviour of school spirit -- even the Couch family was moved by our tribute to their son. Flashbulbs exploded and sorority girls squealed as da couch triumphiantly marched to the gates of Commonwealth Stadium. But, this heralded symbol of spirit was ultimately denied its full fan rousing potiential.

As da couch wound its way through the student ticket line to the delight of all, everything seemed perfect. Judging by the reception thus far, each member of da couch was confident that they would soon be inside Commonwealth Stadium inspiring players and fans alike. However, da couch was forced to watch the game from the outside, hidden underneath a shady pine tree. This unfavorable turn of events was brought about by the cold-heartedness of the Commonwealth Stadium Security Force (CSSF). The CSSF seemed to view our costume as an obstruction to the hordes of intoxicated, disinterested students squinting at the field rather than the monument to school spirit and devotion that it embodied. Undaunted, we completed a circuit around the stadium seeking an entrance for our labor of love. Yet, each and every attempt was met with stern disapproval and denial by the members of the CSSF. Da couch returned for both the Alabama and NE Louisiana games and, in both cases, was greeted with much enthusiasm by the general public. However, to date, it has not yet been admitted.

We are not angry with the men and women of the CSSF, for they are only doing their jobs. We feel that the real problem is with the University and its views on student displays of school spirit. Turn on any college football game and you will see displays of school spirit that this institution can only dream about. Sure, the post Alabama game celebration was a step in the right direction, but UK's football following still has a long way to go before it can catch up with the rest of the SEC. We are not questioning the loyalty of UK fans, but sometimes it seems that this loyalty is restricted or even censored by university or venue policy. This complaint extends to men's basketball, as well. On several occasions last season, students at Rupp Arena had signs confiscated by security. Obviously, some restrictions must be placed on what is allowed at a major sporting event -- but we fell to see the sanity in forcing fans to smuggle in a 2' x 3' poster. This letter is not only about da couch, but about UK fans everywhere that dream of showing their true spirit for their team, but are denied due to university "policy."

We hope that this letter will inspire the University to reconsider its outdated policies on fan support. National television exposure is a time for fans and players to give their all -- to demonstrate their pride in their team and the quality of their university. However, until UK's fan restricting policies are changed, the general public will continue to view this University as nothing more than mediocre, instead of what it really is.

P.S. In the hours preceding the homecoming football game, da couch, as it paraded through rows of enthusiastic onlookers and tailgaters, was greeted with a sense of confusion. In fact, many of the long time fans asked if it was a dare or a fraternity hazing ritual, seemingly unable to grasp the idea that a football fan would voluntarily show support for his team in such a strange, unorthodox manner. Clearly, UK football has a long way to go.

cc: Hal Mumme

--back to The Story of "DA COUCH"